What did you learn today?

[darklight]

If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough...






And for Mr Ed...

Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache...

[marionnette]

My teeth don't hurt, thanks ;D

[darklight]

From a friend :

The Mensa Invitational

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to
takea ny word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or
changing of one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are the 2005
winners:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the
subjectfinancially impotent for an indefinite period

.
2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.


3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until
you realize it was your money to start with.


4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.


5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stop
brightideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows
little sign of breaking down in the near future.


6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of
getting laid.


7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the
person who doesn't get it.

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

12. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these
reallyb ad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's
like, a serious bummer.

13. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day
consuming only things that are good for you.

14. Glibido: All talk and no action.

15. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when
they come at you rapidly.

16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after
you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito,that gets in to
your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
..>..>
18. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in
the fruit you're eating.

[darklight]

A cat is dead because of the bird flu virus in Germany...

[dimples]

Implied line isn't always implied...

[katey]

Gertrude Stein and Alice B Toklas had Model T named Aunt Pauline, then a car named Lady Godiva.

[katey]

dope said:

Crystal d-methamphetamine hydrochloride (commonly known as "crystal meth," "crystal," or just "meth") is the crystalline form of methamphetamine, a powerfully addictive stimulant drug often used recreationally as a party drug. Crystal as usually sold on the street resembles shards of glass.

Awesome. Do you think there are people selling fake meth that really IS shards of glass?

[marionnette]

that would be awesome ;D

[Dope]

katey said:

dope said:

Crystal d-methamphetamine hydrochloride (commonly known as "crystal meth," "crystal," or just "meth") is the crystalline form of methamphetamine, a powerfully addictive stimulant drug often used recreationally as a party drug. Crystal as usually sold on the street resembles shards of glass.

Awesome. Do you think there are people selling fake meth that really IS shards of glass?

Possibly, but I don't know how well that would hold up in the tightly.... tied baggy "corners" they're usually sold in.

[Lungsey]

i just read n3rdf4c3's name properly ;D

[marionnette]

[Lungsey]

hey! i'm not good with numbers okay?

[marionnette]

;D okay

[mongo]

is this for real? besides the picture of course ;D

All cats have to be kept indoors in the affected aeras now or they will be caught/shot.

Yes, I heard about that, it was in Germany. It's true. I

[mongo]

thats scary...my boy kills 2-3 a week

[Lungsey]

guest said:

my husband is convinced this must be kurt cobain's kitty cat

[katey]

guest said:

Unfortunately so.
Well, officially they do say they'll be caught or "dealt with using other measures", ha.

yes, owners have been told to not let their cats sleep in their beds and to keep an arm's lenght away from them at all time.

It seems pretty unlikely that there will be an outbreak of Bird Flu in cats or Germans though... apparently the cat infected had been living on an island with the highest concetration of Bird Flu cases in birds, and had probably eaten a 'highly infectious' bird. Was probably being a lazy scavanger.

So make sure your cat KILLS what it eats!!!!

[marlboroman]

captain tripps woz ere.

[Shoesh]

katey said:

guest said:

Unfortunately so.
Well, officially they do say they'll be caught or "dealt with using other measures", ha.

So make sure your cat KILLS what it eats!!!!

I'm not sure it's in its nature to kill a can of KitKat.

[dimples]

================================================
Don't throw out all that leftover wine: Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces. Left over wine? What's that?!
================================================

[dimples]

================================================
When you get a splinter, reach for the scotch tape before resorting to tweezers or a needle. Simply put the scotch tape over the splinter, then pull it off. Scotch tape removes most splinters painlessly and easily.
================================================

[katey]

Brownie Mary

[jonnythc]

wine is good with dinner

[harro]

red wine is also good for your teeth.....aside from making them look like baked beans the next morning.