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Post by algreen on Nov 27, 2004 4:01:41 GMT -5
My new foxy friend Grandma inspired me to start my first topic on the "MLMB"......a place to share interesting and/or funky stories.
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Post by algreen on Nov 27, 2004 4:10:36 GMT -5
I guess I'll share the first story....
It was back in '74 i believe. We were at a gig playing "Are You Lonely For Me Baby" and I noticed a man in the 3rd row who had set himself on fire!!! I don't know if he was lighting a joint or what, but damn man....that boy was blazin'!!! I signaled to my main roadie "Big Bobby Bob" to help the brotha out. Bobby grabbed some hippie's poncho and threw it over the burning man to smother the flames. If it wasn't for Big Bobby Bob's quick thinking...who knows what would've happened. The guy got taken away to the hospital with only 3rd degree burns. I signed his bandages after the show, and everyone was happy....and full of soul.
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Post by Shoesh on Nov 27, 2004 7:58:53 GMT -5
So *that's* what happened to Richard Pryor! That lying bastard..
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Post by siner on Nov 27, 2004 11:46:50 GMT -5
getting a bus home once and there was empty seats everywhere and this creepy old guy got on (you know the kind hasn't showered for months, afro hair,smells of cheese and i'm sure has a unnatural love for animals) sits down beside me says i like your "foxy hair" (me being a red head) and picks up my shopping bag and inspects the underwear i just bought........not plesant journey home
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Post by froggequene on Nov 27, 2004 11:52:12 GMT -5
getting a bus home once and there was empty seats everywhere and this creepy old guy got on (you know the kind hasn't showered for months, afro hair,smells of cheese and i'm sure has a unnatural love for animals) sits down beside me says i like your "foxy hair" (me being a red head) and picks up my shopping bag and inspects the underwear i just bought........not plesant journey home ....did you boil wash everything or just throw it away?
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Post by siner on Nov 27, 2004 12:08:28 GMT -5
....did you boil wash everything or just throw it away? burned it and the worst thing was it was all this fancy underwear, you should have seen the colour of his hands there was reds, greens, browns (the worst colour to have on your hands) and patches of white then i had a 2 hour shower and came out red, wrinkkly with about two layres of skin rubbed off,......it was wrong
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Post by barriers on Nov 27, 2004 12:33:28 GMT -5
One time back in the day Fonzie was freaking out because every time he went near a girl he would start sneezing. The Fonz (aaaaayyyyy!) was worried he was now allergic to girls. Me, being his level-headed friend knew that this was not possible (c'mon, it's the Fonz, aaayyy!) So after a series of experiment's I discovered that the combination of Fonzie's new aftershave and a girls perfume was what was making the Fonz sneeze.
So anyway, Fonzie threw out that aftershave and he went and nailed a couple of hot swedish twins. Atleast I Presume so, Fonzie's not one to kiss & tell.
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Batman
New Recruit
I'm Batman
Posts: 4
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Post by Batman on Nov 27, 2004 14:42:41 GMT -5
Last winter the Joker and the Penguin tried to take over Gotham City by putting a mind control syrum in the water supply.
They almost defeated Robin & I when they sealed us in a water tank and let it slowly fill with water while they told us their entire plan before they left us completely unguarded. Luckily for us I had my secret Bat-laser with me and we escaped our watery-grave.
Then Robin & I tricked those villians into pouring the antidote into the water supply and the day was saved.
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Post by barriers on Nov 27, 2004 18:37:34 GMT -5
that was a good story strange. you shouldn't have deleted it
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Post by marlboroman on Nov 27, 2004 23:24:01 GMT -5
one time i was standing in line to see the show tonight; but then absinthe set in. so i went home.
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Post by diecheerleader on Nov 28, 2004 3:45:35 GMT -5
when i was 5 i was in school....i had to go pee pee.....my Nazi teacher wouldn't let me go to the bathroom. eventually i had to go so bad....i pissed myself......ahhhh.....good times. i still wish that teacher nothing but death.
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Post by barriers on Nov 28, 2004 4:11:44 GMT -5
you sure know how to hold a grudge
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Post by diecheerleader on Nov 28, 2004 4:17:23 GMT -5
man, seriously...she was fucking evil.
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Post by barriers on Nov 28, 2004 4:19:08 GMT -5
yea, I had one of those too
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Post by Lava on Nov 28, 2004 4:20:19 GMT -5
when I was 3 1/2, I was at my parent's shop. My dad had just made a large chair in imported cream colored velvet. When my dad went to pull the delivery truck around, I felt it was my time to shine. I grabbed a thick black marker and drew all over that sucker.
I started school the very next day.
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Post by Dope on Nov 28, 2004 4:20:54 GMT -5
YEAH!!!
....what were we talkin' about?
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Post by Shoesh on Nov 28, 2004 10:29:00 GMT -5
8 a.m. is on a sunday morning is not the best time to be at an airport. My bro and I were standing in line for some baguettes when some strung out junkie sneaked up on me. He started talking in French about how he was looking for a hotel. I tried to get rid of him but then this yukkie cabdriver blocked my only escaperoute. The driver kept staring at me, very annoying. I finally got my order and hid behind my bro and sister at our table when the cabbie called me. "Aren't you buying your husband a sandwhich??" He was talking about the dopehead.. sweet I made it clear to him in my sweet kinda hangover hellgirl manner that that guy wasn't getting anything from me. *enter forced smile* He kept shouting thru the cafe that he thought that the junkie was my husband and how sorry he was. blaaaaa bla
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Post by Daisy on Nov 28, 2004 13:09:08 GMT -5
Since other people are sharing little kid stories…
When I was tiny, I loved to rollerskate. That’s what one did in the mid-70s and I was a five-year old skating queen and I was real good except for the whole stopping part. I never quite mastered that. So in order to stop, I would just bash into something and *bam* instantly stop. So this one time, I was rollerskating like mad, I distinctly remember them playing my favorite Blondie song but my family was getting ready to leave so I had to come off the floor and I needed to stop and it wasn’t my fault the bitch got in my way and that I slammed into her like a two-ton brick and then proceeded to stomp all over her in my clunky skates. I couldn’t help that either, she fell in front of me and I had to get over her. I had to spend the rest of the night apologizing to her and once again, mom, I’m sorry about that whole rollerskating incident.
They never took me rollerskating again.
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Post by Strange Feelin' on Nov 28, 2004 13:47:53 GMT -5
when i was a kid my grand-parents owned a farm, they had sheeps, horses, chicken, cows..the usual animals you'll find at a farm. i must have been around 4 or 5, all i did back then was eat chocolate cause i didn't know how to talk & therefore i didn't interact with my older sis or with kids my age...so her and my cousins were always picking on me, trying to make me cry. they simulated my death this one time, they made this coffin with my name written on it and there was this squeleton in it with worms crawling everywhere- anyways, so we were walking in the fields and they told me that they had come earlier to surprise me with coated chocolate candies. so i ate a full hand of the mysterious chocolate that happened to be sheep's shit.
that's right i ate shit when i was a kid. it was delicious.
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Post by barriers on Nov 28, 2004 13:55:04 GMT -5
when i was a kid my grand-parents owned a farm, they had sheeps, horses, chicken, cows..the usual animals you'll find at a farm. i must have been around 4 or 5, all i did back then was eat chocolate cause i didn't know how to talk & therefore i didn't interact with my older sis or with kids my age...so her and my cousins were always picking on me, trying to make me cry. they simulated my death this one time, they made this coffin with my name written on it and there was this squeleton in it with worms crawling everywhere- anyways, so we were walking in the fields and they told me that they had come earlier to surprise me with coated chocolate candies. so i ate a full hand of the mysterious chocolate that happened to be sheep's shit. that's right i ate shit when i was a kid. it was delicious. Im quoting this so Strange doesnt delete it later like she did her last story
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Post by stonedtemple_pilot on Nov 29, 2004 2:19:45 GMT -5
Im quoting this so Strange doesnt delete it later like she did her last story It's a good one too.
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Post by diecheerleader on Nov 29, 2004 2:36:32 GMT -5
i think i know why Strange does that.....but not for sure...so i'm not going to say anything.
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Post by diecheerleader on Nov 29, 2004 2:49:55 GMT -5
here's a story....
Strange and I were in Italy. we were having a long-deserved drink after a long day of robbing tourists. then, she sees someone eyeing her. she whispers to me that she thinks it's an undercover cop. i tell her to play it cool. we discuss what we should do and come up with a hell of a plan. she gets up and walks over to him. she's holding a glass of wine. she introduces herself and begins to chat it up. i go to the restroom to not make it obvious that i was leaving, in case the cop had backup. (those Interpol guys always have backup) i sneak out the window and head to our "A-Team" style van only to notice a gaggle of cops around it. i knew we were going to be in big trouble unless i came up with a new plan...FAST!! so....and i know this isn't the smoothest plan ever, but time was of the essence. i pay off a waiter to tell Strange that she has a phone call. he "leads her back to the phone" but hands her a note from me telling her the situation. with that, the waiter leaves the restaurant and Strange walks back over to the undercover cop. she chats it up with him still....laying on the charm as she does so well. then i drive up to the window on a motorcycle i stole from some bloke. i throw a molatov cocktail through one of the windows while Strange dives through another to get outside. of course a huge fire breaks out and the cops rush in to help everyone. Strange hops on the back of the motorcycle and we take off into the night!!! they never caught us!!!! stay tuned for more tales of "Die & Strange...International Thieves of Doom!!"
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Post by MR GUMBY on Nov 29, 2004 3:18:23 GMT -5
but what happened to the van? why didn't you just use the remote control driver i installed? i have a feeling you made that story up!
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Post by diecheerleader on Nov 29, 2004 3:27:24 GMT -5
i thought it was obvious that i wouldn't have the remote control on me at the time. i was letting my hair down......but i admit.....i paid for it with the loss of my van. it was so coool i had to add an extra "o" in cool!!! i had a wizard airbrushed onto the back of it. WOOOO.....PLAY FREEBIRD!!! (sorry....i don't know what happened there)
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