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Post by MR GUMBY on Nov 29, 2004 3:37:25 GMT -5
i thought it was obvious that i wouldn't have the remote control on me at the time. i was letting my hair down..... the major will be most displeased. once that fucker burst into my room at the middle of the night, just to check if i'd be alert enough to shoot him. i was, but not awake enough cause he was hiding behind this kid he'd kidnapped and i shot the fuck out of him... spent the rest of that night digging a few graves in the country, and killing the kids family so the heat would never find out. thats one lesson i'll never forget.
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Post by diecheerleader on Nov 29, 2004 3:51:25 GMT -5
you know...i think that's just something every young man has to learn at one point in his life.
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Post by siner on Nov 29, 2004 7:49:49 GMT -5
Last winter the Joker and the Penguin tried to take over Gotham City by putting a mind control syrum in the water supply. They almost defeated Robin & I when they sealed us in a water tank and let it slowly fill with water while they told us their entire plan before they left us completely unguarded. Luckily for us I had my secret Bat-laser with me and we escaped our watery-grave. Then Robin & I tricked those villians into pouring the antidote into the water supply and the day was saved. remember that time you and robin were tied up over a vat of exploding acid with the rope being slowly burned away by the fumes....you escaped using the shine off your buckle belt to heat the near by barrels of said acid, which then exploded to gentle thrust you and robin to safety good times
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Post by Shoesh on Nov 29, 2004 18:15:15 GMT -5
Codeine makes me say funny things. I wasn't *that* naked btw. The tattoo-artists taped the cups of my bra to my body. Yes, the spot I chose to get a tattoo is that odd. I hadn't even noticed that everyone in the store could see me till there was like 5 minutes of work left. I'd been enjoying my Qotsa bootleg and the pain a little too much methinks. ;D When my tattoo was done and the dude showed me to the mirror, I told him what had happened. And then he apologised several times. They'd just installed the mirror that day and they hadn't noticed either. And they did thank me for pointing it out to them.
I also got a lot of compliments for being able to sit still for so long. They'd only had 1 person before me who got a tattoo on the ribs and he squeeled like a pig the entire time. *snickers* He was twice my size.
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Post by Dope on Nov 29, 2004 18:23:38 GMT -5
What's the tat of? I dozed off while getting a tat on the back of my neck once. I find it relaxing to get inked.. I guess I enjoy pain too much.
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Post by Shoesh on Nov 29, 2004 18:29:51 GMT -5
Err it's a text. .
I liked the feeling very much too. Which is weird cus he was basically tattooing *on* my ribs. He told me to that I'd have to hold my breath as he was working. But as he was working he said I was so relaxed and my breathing was calm too. He had no trouble doing the fine lines. sweet It was a really coolexperience, he even played my Qotsa-bootleg on the stereo ;D
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Post by Dope on Nov 29, 2004 19:07:39 GMT -5
One time barriers and I saved a village from a band of murderous pirates that were led by Gumby.
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Post by barriers on Nov 29, 2004 19:16:34 GMT -5
One time Dope & I travelled to Africa so we could train butler monkeys. Unfortunately a Hippomapotimus ate my hat so we just went home.
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Post by Daisy on Nov 29, 2004 19:54:01 GMT -5
Vacation journal entry #452: Lava and I have completed our mission of training hippos to eat hats off the heads of strange men; however, we were unsuccessful at training butler monkeys to do this simple task. The poor creatures only flung their pooh around and seemingly could not be trained. Now we are off to the Caribbean to train murderous pirates the hat-eating maneuver.
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Post by Daisy on Nov 29, 2004 20:04:32 GMT -5
Codeine makes me say funny things. I wasn't *that* naked btw. The tattoo-artists taped the cups of my bra to my body. Yes, the spot I chose to get a tattoo is that odd. I hadn't even noticed that everyone in the store could see me till there was like 5 minutes of work left. I'd been enjoying my Qotsa bootleg and the pain a little too much methinks. ;D When my tattoo was done and the dude showed me to the mirror, I told him what had happened. And then he apologised several times. They'd just installed the mirror that day and they hadn't noticed either. And they did thank me for pointing it out to them. I also got a lot of compliments for being able to sit still for so long. They'd only had 1 person before me who got a tattoo on the ribs and he squeeled like a pig the entire time. *snickers* He was twice my size. I think it's all good then. If they just installed the mirror then I would cut them some slack for not knowing that it created a peep show for the people in the waiting area. So is this your first tattoo Shonie or second? What is it of?
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Post by BAPTIST WITH HIS HEAD CUT OFF on Nov 29, 2004 23:20:42 GMT -5
i was sixteen in highschool sitting behind a dumpster with some friends, when this kid couldn't have been more than 8 years old, comes bycicling down the road yelling "i have no bellybutton!!" over and over again.
so we yell at him to stop, and proceed to ask him what the hell he's talking about, everyone has a bellybutton, then he pulls up his shirt, and covering his entire abdomen was what appeared to be a frozen in motion turbulent ocean, made entirely of scar tissue.
he did not have a bellybuttton, and therefore he ws never born, except into pain.
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Post by BAPTIST WITH HIS HEAD CUT OFF on Nov 29, 2004 23:21:22 GMT -5
that's a true story by the way, just ask somebody.
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Post by Dope on Nov 30, 2004 0:08:54 GMT -5
I've been sitting here for 15 minutes just thinking about that. Then I remembered how I cloned myself, so I could play two player videogames without having friends.. then I started making him run errands for me and stuff.. after awhile he got really pissy and threatened to kill me all the time... so I killed him first..
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Post by diecheerleader on Nov 30, 2004 2:59:50 GMT -5
i remember the first time i made sweet love........but i'm not going to tell that story.......it's too naughty.
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Post by diecheerleader on Nov 30, 2004 3:09:33 GMT -5
i will tell this story though.....
Strange and I had just stolen one of the biggest diamonds in all of......well.......Alaska.......but still.....it was a pretty big diamond. so anyway, we were meeting up with our diamond connection named...Barriers. i swear, that guy can move ice. so we were waiting for Barriers to show up and a fucking polar bear attacks us!!! he was chewing on my leg.....i knew i was done for. then, out of nowhere, Strange does this flying kung-fu kick to the side of the bear's head!!! he stops....looks at her....sees the rage in her eyes....and runs away wimpering. it was awesome!!! so then, Strange picks me up, carries me to our van and takes me to the hospital to get me stitched up. she is amazing!! oh...and we had to meet up with Barriers the next night to move the diamond. we got some fat cash out of it i must say. we decided to take a little vacation to celebrate......so we went to Jamacia!!! (but that's another story for another time)
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Post by stonedtemple_pilot on Nov 30, 2004 3:11:27 GMT -5
Yo baby, yo baby yo!
I have a couple of good ones. 100% true stories, so pay attention kiddies...
Once I was coming home from work, sitting at the back of the streetcar, minding my own business. I was really tired (the job was brutal) & I was just casually looking out the window & around the streetcar when I inadvertently made eye contact with a woman sitting a few rows up. She screamed at me "STOP STARING AT ME!!!" I thought 'whatever' & went back to minding my own business and looking out the window.
About 10 minutes later, I'd forgotten all about her & I made the mistake of looking back in her direction. She was now crouched down, with her eyes peering over the back of the seat. She jumped up & yelled "I TOLD YOU TO STOP STARING AT ME, I DON'T NEED YOU BURNING A HOLE IN THE BACK OF MY BRAIN!!!" Next thing you know... SMACK! She fuckin smacked me in the face, HARD. I was so shocked, I didn't even get up. I just sat there as she ran to the doors & got off.
As the streetcar began to pull away, she picked up a bottle that was on the ground & threw it & smashed it on the front of the streetcar. If I ever see that bitch again...
Story #2...
I was sitting waiting for a subway with a friend of mine (Joanna) when this girl came up to us & asked if she could sit with us. She said a strange man was following her & she was scared & wanted to pretend she was with us. We said it was ok & she said she'd just sit & read a book. Again... whatever.
A few minutes later, a man in camouflage gear came up to us. He kind of stood there staring at the two girls, but walked away after a bit. He then proceeded to march (military style) up & down the subway platform. Anyway, the subway came & we all got on. The weirdo got on a different car. The girl thanked us & said he'd been following her for about 10 mins & she had been really scared. Joanna & I then forgot all about him.
For a while.
About 20 minutes later, I made a call from a payphone while waiting for a bus as Joanna stood next to me waiting. Who should come up the escalator? You guessed it. Military weirdo guy. He came up to us & tried to strike up a conversation with my friend. I put the phone down & asked him to leave her alone. He started swearing at me, "you fuckin MFn fuck!!!" He then pulled out a toothbrush out of his jacket & started brushing his teeth as he swore at me, "fuck you, fuck, fuck!!!" brushing his teeth in between all this. I told him to leave us alone again & he took the toothrush & stabbed me in the face with it. Fuckin wet side too, right under my eye. Half an inch higher & I would have lost my eye for sure.
Anyway, I threw the phone down & chased him up a flight of stairs. If I ever see that MFer again...
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Post by Dope on Nov 30, 2004 3:26:07 GMT -5
Ok.. so dig this..
One time I was in Hong Kong on some espionage work... I had orders from Chief Foz to uncover a terrorist organization based there. They had smuggled some nuclear weapons, and were intent on attacking American soil, causing the Americans to immediately blame China for the attack and begin a world war. In the midst of this war, the planet would be torn apart, and they would lay low, then take out all the leading governments of the world.
I thought it sounded like a good plan at first, and I was rooting for them, but Chief Foz insisted. I didn't dare doubt his word, so I infiltrated their secret base. Once inside, I stumbled across freelance agent named "Lava". She was pissed because she wanted to dominate the world herself. With no other choice, we teamed up. All was well until a sniper named "Shone" shot me in the kneecap. Then it was all up to Lava.
Lava went on to crack some heads, while I, with the help of my good friend "Die" who aided me via codec.. proceeded to plant their base with C4 explosives.
In the end... after Lava dispatched of their wicked leader "Gumby" she hauled my crippled ass out of the base with the flames of C4 explosions hot on her tail. But since she's fuckin' fireproof, we escaped intact.
Afterwards.. we never saw each other again.. Though Die and I... along with Chief Foz... still continue to ensure the safety of the world!!
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Post by Lava on Nov 30, 2004 4:31:18 GMT -5
In the end... after Lava dispatched of their wicked leader "Gumby" she hauled my crippled ass out of the base with the flames of C4 explosions hot on her tail. But since she's fuckin' fireproof, we escaped intact. Afterwards.. we never saw each other again.. Though Die and I... along with Chief Foz... still continue to ensure the safety of the world!! You may not have seen me, but I watch over all of you, ensuring your safety, as you ensure it for others
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Post by Dope on Nov 30, 2004 4:58:10 GMT -5
I shall never forgot our battle together!! ;D
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Post by stonedtemple_pilot on Nov 30, 2004 12:21:13 GMT -5
I haven't spoken to her in a long time.
I get asked to tell those stories from time to time. Classics. They have caused me to develop a bitter hate for public transportation though.
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Post by Strange Feelin' on Nov 30, 2004 12:30:16 GMT -5
I They have caused me to develop a bitter hate for public transportation though. tell me about it... i was sitting on a bus in a single chair, we were jammed in traffic and of course the bus was full of people. i was reading a book and this big fat man standing right next to me kept rubbing his small dick on my hand. at first i thought he was not doing it on purpice because he was standing on a moving vehicule, but then i looked up at his face and he kind of smiled at me with this disgusting smile so i hit him with the corner of my book (which had a hard cover) and i said " you better stop rubbing your genitals on my hand you sick fuck" and he moved to the back of the bus. maybe he's out there telling a story on a message board about this crazy girl who screamed shit at him on a bus for no reasons.
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New Recruit
Posts: 0
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Post by on Nov 30, 2004 12:38:38 GMT -5
tell me about it... i was sitting on a bus in a single chair, we were jammed in traffic and of course the bus was full of people. i was reading a book and this big fat man standing right next to me kept rubbing his small dick on my hand. at first i thought he was not doing it on purpice because he was standing on a moving vehicule, but then i looked up at his face and he kind of smiled at me with this disgusting smile so i hit him with the corner of my book (which had a hard cover) and i said " you better stop rubbing your genitals on my hand you sick fuck" and he moved to the back of the bus. maybe he's out there telling a story on a message board about this crazy girl who screamed shit at him on a bus for no reasons. there's a genuine term for people who do that kind of thing... (other than 'sick fuck') i dont know what it is... errrr... i bet Foz knows...
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Post by Daisy on Nov 30, 2004 12:39:08 GMT -5
Lava sure does find herself in a lot of these stories.
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Post by stonedtemple_pilot on Nov 30, 2004 12:53:17 GMT -5
tell me about it... i was sitting on a bus in a single chair, we were jammed in traffic and of course the bus was full of people. i was reading a book and this big fat man standing right next to me kept rubbing his small dick on my hand. at first i thought he was not doing it on purpice because he was standing on a moving vehicule, but then i looked up at his face and he kind of smiled at me with this disgusting smile so i hit him with the corner of my book (which had a hard cover) and i said " you better stop rubbing your genitals on my hand you sick fuck" and he moved to the back of the bus. maybe he's out there telling a story on a message board about this crazy girl who screamed shit at him on a bus for no reasons. It was YOU!!!
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Post by Lava on Nov 30, 2004 13:02:30 GMT -5
Vacation journal entry #452: Lava and I have completed our mission of training hippos to eat hats off the heads of strange men; however, we were unsuccessful at training butler monkeys to do this simple task. The poor creatures only flung their pooh around and seemingly could not be trained. Now we are off to the Caribbean to train murderous pirates the hat-eating maneuver. good times, good times. Perhaps you should've have put the Carribean in quotes, seeing as how we aren't at liberty to say exactly where we are. The whole plan could be foiled...what we can say is that we are becoming a non-profit organization, so that we may accept endless hat donations.
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