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Post by Lungsey on Mar 25, 2008 16:45:17 GMT -5
Maidli, mockingbird and shoney, thanks beneath this exterior of a cold hearted bl00d spilling bitch lies the heart of an insecure phobia-ridden 41 year old, heh. So thanks, i should re-read this when i'm on one of my rides down. Can you say more about what you mean? yeah i guess. I don't mean much by it. I am a social worker by trade but i don't actually work as a social worker. I am a grouptherapist and a counselor. The verbal beatdowns I've gotten here haven't been entirely unexpected, as I tend to provoke that reaction in others often online, but that don't make it easy to get torn into. Perhaps I can find out what it is about me that provokes that, I'm not sure it's anything I can change, but who knows. interesting... i find it is a great tool to know what it is in your owns behaviour that pushes other people's buttons. It can lead to great things to know this. Apart from it making your life easier if you know why people can take offence etc, it also helps understanding what people mean when they are not taking the time or effort to let you know why they are beating on you. IF they know, that is. Not everyone knows why they do what they do, they just feel someone's pushing their buttons and lash out.
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Post by maidli2 on Mar 25, 2008 16:45:53 GMT -5
I am admin elsewhere, i know
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Post by Stephanie on Mar 25, 2008 16:46:12 GMT -5
Agreed... here's my thoughts: i have times that i'm around and i feel like posting initially, but then i sort of feel put off. I know one reason i sometimes find it hard to post is when there isn't much communication going on, and when people are just dropping their sentences on a thread as if there is nothing worth replying to. You know what i mean? There's people sharing stuff that apparently they feel are interesting enough to write for others to read, but then it isn't met with any replies. Sometimes this goes on for pages - all these people talking and nobody seeming to actually listen. I know why sometimes that gets to me. It only gets to me when i am feeling low about myself, when i feel invisible and i'm afraid that if i post something and nobody will acknowledge it, it will make me feel absolutely shite and i will go off on one of my insecure moods where i feel i am not wanted anywhere and people would reply if only i was worth something. Does that make sense? Then i feel i should start replying to people because after all, it is what i am missing so i should at least reply myself, but sometimes i feel so insecure that i am convinced people would hate my replies because really, they don't want me here and it would piss them off to see me around. I feel ya but... this is the social worker in me now... I think it's almost to be expected. Everyone who lives long enough in this world is 'damaged,' but I tend to think that people drawn to music this dark would tend to be carrying a bit of extra baggage. (I include myself in that statement.) So the fact that everyone here isn't so well-adjusted just seems to me to come with the territory. And I see it not as depressing but engaging--here's something we can work on together. We can make this place better and support one another by being real and trying to work through conflict and difference instead of just shutting it down or trying to make it disappear. And that's a beautiful thing to see. People tend to get down on themselves when they feel helpless or broken, but I truly believe in and see the dignity and worth of every person and think that if you don't give up on people they rise to meet your vision of them. Many of us here might have a little more to overcome in order to form a good community in which people don't derail into vicious stuff but I think that makes the work even more worthwhile. I think it sucks that this forum has become so maligned by the very musicians and artists for whom admiration is expressed here. I don't care how nasty things get or have gotten on here, I still think that's fucked up. It's demoralizing. I had the good fortune of being part of the official Butthole Surfers fan forum for a number of years and I can tell you the nastiness and conflicts that went down there make this place look tame in comparison, but people were tough and stuck around and a real community formed. And instead of it being held in mild contempt by the band, Paul Leary actually came on there and started posting ( about Boston Terriers, Judge Judy, and Martha Stewart ) and it was beautiful to see how being treated with kindness and regard by someone you respect and admire as an artist could really have a positive effect on people. I'm not suggesting that Mark or any of the band need to come on here and post or even that they like this place but I don't think this place needs to be run in perpetual fear of pissing the band off. Yeah, certain ground rules make sense--no nasty or destructive gossip about band members' personal lives, etc., but c'mon, we should be able to weather some conflict here without having to feel like it makes us a loathsome bunch of people, or thinking we need to hit the "Delete" button because "someone official" gets annoyed. I think that this is already a good community but the self-perception that's formed here of this place as "bad" makes people want to give up and not even try despite the richness of the lives brought together here. I think before anything else, we need to toss that out of the window.
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Post by manintheshadows on Mar 25, 2008 16:47:05 GMT -5
EDIT: Steph, maybe the mods can add a 'fiery biscuit' warning to your profile. Just so people know what to expect. Things should be fine after that prolly.. And yes, social work does mess you up. Ps Foz, you might've heard 'fiery biscuits' before and no I don't mean those.. I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about. I have new buttons to press since Raeni upgraded me a bit when the board crashed, but I don't know what any of them do. I find it easier just to ban people. And you have no idea how hard it is to resist the temptation daily to edit everyone's posts and profiles for my own amusement.
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Post by Shoesh on Mar 25, 2008 16:47:54 GMT -5
We tend to swear a lot. And I blame Gumby and DC for that. Someone once complained about the amount of swearing on this board, which made me laugh. I like the swearing, it's good in a bad way. The chuuch: founded by the Evil Mountain. He used to be called Eburgalumni. He's a dirty priest, and the chicks flocked to him. hehehe Except for Flutterchick/Romini-Bikini. She beat him up a couple of times. But we still love her.
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Post by gr0undzer0 on Mar 25, 2008 16:48:36 GMT -5
EDIT: Steph, maybe the mods can add a 'fiery biscuit' warning to your profile. Just so people know what to expect. Things should be fine after that prolly.. And yes, social work does mess you up. Ps Foz, you might've heard 'fiery biscuits' before and no I don't mean those.. I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about. I have new buttons to press since Raeni upgraded me a bit when the board crashed, but I don't know what any of them do. I find it easier just to ban people. And you have no idea how hard it is to resist the temptation daily to edit everyone's posts and profiles for my own amusement. ahhh man whats this ?
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Post by Lungsey on Mar 25, 2008 16:50:12 GMT -5
And so Something else is shocking me Is it typical to "english language" to say "hey, motherfucker, i fuck you" instead of "i agree, i appreciate you, but i cant tell it so loud cause of my language ?" Is appearance better ? Really, i wonder !!! !!! Of course, I KNOW my post will stay as usual invisible Maidli, you are in no way invisible. Just sometimes it gets a bit hard to understand what you mean, but i think most people here find that quite cute. Your english reminds me of an old internet friend from Japan. She would come up with the sweetest ways of saying things and she always put a smile on my face. You have that effect on me too
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Post by Shoesh on Mar 25, 2008 16:51:19 GMT -5
EDIT: Steph, maybe the mods can add a 'fiery biscuit' warning to your profile. Just so people know what to expect. Things should be fine after that prolly.. And yes, social work does mess you up. Ps Foz, you might've heard 'fiery biscuits' before and no I don't mean those.. I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about. I have new buttons to press since Raeni upgraded me a bit when the board crashed, but I don't know what any of them do. I find it easier just to ban people. And you have no idea how hard it is to resist the temptation daily to edit everyone's posts and profiles for my own amusement. www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=fiery+biscuits&defid=1482844you're a good man for resisting temptation but can you resist the mighty boosh?!
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Post by Lungsey on Mar 25, 2008 16:51:37 GMT -5
um, my internet is terribly slow.... it takes ages for a post to actually appear on the board, sorry. So if i'm behind, its THE INTERNET'S FAULT not mine
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Post by Shoesh on Mar 25, 2008 16:52:37 GMT -5
same here
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Post by Captain Eburg on Mar 25, 2008 16:55:03 GMT -5
Hey Mockingbird, still a member of Eburg's Church of Mischief I take it? ;D Today I found out you're not 21 or something. You look so young in your arvatar! right on, hahaha Good to have you back. Your thread in the 'normal' section is amazing!! Great story, wowie. Yes m'am! Still a devoted member of The Church. And yes, I'm an old fuckee... You heard from Daisy, lately? I could have used her bib last weekend. j/k... Anyone need to confess? I may have to open that old chestnut again.
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Post by Beaty on Mar 25, 2008 16:55:09 GMT -5
We tend to swear a lot. And I blame Gumby and DC for that. Someone once complained about the amount of swearing on this board, which made me laugh. I like the swearing, it's good in a bad way. The chuuch: founded by the Evil Mountain. He used to be called Eburgalumni. He's a dirty priest, and the chicks flocked to him. hehehe Except for Flutterchick/Romini-Bikini. She beat him up a couple of times. But we still love her. I should've joined this place wayyyyy rearlier .
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Post by Lungsey on Mar 25, 2008 16:55:27 GMT -5
so its the dutch governments fault, not ours
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Post by Stephanie on Mar 25, 2008 16:55:28 GMT -5
"Fiery biscuit"? Isn't that an insult someone once directed toward Lindsey Lohan's nether regions?
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Post by maidli2 on Mar 25, 2008 16:58:04 GMT -5
Well you put a smile on my face too. thx
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Post by Beaty on Mar 25, 2008 16:58:36 GMT -5
so its the dutch governments fault, not ours uhu
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Post by maidli2 on Mar 25, 2008 16:59:16 GMT -5
WOOOOO forum is acting !!! yeah !!!!
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Post by Shoesh on Mar 25, 2008 17:00:47 GMT -5
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Post by Lungsey on Mar 25, 2008 17:01:22 GMT -5
Agreed... here's my thoughts: i have times that i'm around and i feel like posting initially, but then i sort of feel put off. I know one reason i sometimes find it hard to post is when there isn't much communication going on, and when people are just dropping their sentences on a thread as if there is nothing worth replying to. You know what i mean? There's people sharing stuff that apparently they feel are interesting enough to write for others to read, but then it isn't met with any replies. Sometimes this goes on for pages - all these people talking and nobody seeming to actually listen. I know why sometimes that gets to me. It only gets to me when i am feeling low about myself, when i feel invisible and i'm afraid that if i post something and nobody will acknowledge it, it will make me feel absolutely shite and i will go off on one of my insecure moods where i feel i am not wanted anywhere and people would reply if only i was worth something. Does that make sense? Then i feel i should start replying to people because after all, it is what i am missing so i should at least reply myself, but sometimes i feel so insecure that i am convinced people would hate my replies because really, they don't want me here and it would piss them off to see me around. I feel ya but... this is the social worker in me now... I think it's almost to be expected. Everyone who lives long enough in this world is 'damaged,' but I tend to think that people drawn to music this dark would tend to be carrying a bit of extra baggage. (I include myself in that statement.) So the fact that everyone here isn't so well-adjusted just seems to me to come with the territory. This isn't about people being well-adjusted or not being well-adjusted. And i don't think people here are damaged to the extend of not being able to chat - you know, read and reply. It is about showing an interest in eachother and about communication. Obviously we all have our problems, our pasts etc but that to me is not the reason why sometimes our threads consist of people talking to themselves.
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Post by manintheshadows on Mar 25, 2008 17:02:27 GMT -5
On a more serious note, I can see why sometimes people join and don't post - and this is no bad reflection on anyone here. Quite the opposite, in fact - this board has retained the same members for some years (quite a feat for any specific music-related board where tastes change and people go with them etc), and while it's not cliquey (and by crikey this board and the old one has been guilty of that in the past), it can be intimidating to an interested passer-by. The main Lanegan board has a lot of people who really know what they're talking about, and the general board is populated by a lot of injokes and almost private conversations. This is all sounding very negative, but I really don't mean it to sound that way - if anything it's a great thing that a bunch of people from all over the place have become and have remained friends (with the occasional spat) for such a length of time, and we're not so tightarsed that we don't welcome new people in the manner that we do for those who get into the swing of things. It's just that maybe there should be more stuff for everyone to get involved with - the main board is a bit tricksy at the moment due to the sheer amount of actual info, but there should also be room for more favourite song/album threads and questions/answers about the older stuff in amongst the Gutter Twins-related malarkey, especially considering that there are and will be a whole bunch of new folks popping by who've bought Saturnalia and would like to hear more by the bloke with the growly voice. What I'd personally like to see (and of course it's not my decision to make) is maybe an expansion of this place so that old and new can be discussed without one facet knocking the other off the page, and newbies and old farts can coexist in some sort of Wacky Warehouse-type arrangement where the kids can go nuts in the ball pool while the gimmers get pissed and talk about how crap telly is nowadays. I'm ranting now, so I'll knock it on the head. Last time I got all passionate (in my defence, I was drunk at the time) about how ace this board is, I got in trouble with a Twilight Singer
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Post by Shoesh on Mar 25, 2008 17:03:47 GMT -5
We tend to swear a lot. And I blame Gumby and DC for that. Someone once complained about the amount of swearing on this board, which made me laugh. I like the swearing, it's good in a bad way. The chuuch: founded by the Evil Mountain. He used to be called Eburgalumni. He's a dirty priest, and the chicks flocked to him. hehehe Except for Flutterchick/Romini-Bikini. She beat him up a couple of times. But we still love her. I should've joined this place wayyyyy rearlier . this started at the other board, which no longer excists. But the Church does. Seduce Eburg and then you can join too!
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Post by Lungsey on Mar 25, 2008 17:05:08 GMT -5
Oi foz - who you callin an old fart?
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Post by Shoesh on Mar 25, 2008 17:10:29 GMT -5
I love my Fozzie Foz Foz!! Thanks for the new arrrrrvatarrrrrrr, hihihih.
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Post by Captain Eburg on Mar 25, 2008 17:10:33 GMT -5
]I tended to look at non-interactive posts as I would prose. Sometimes they are great, insightful like a snippet of Bukowski, or or nice little truth, dropped along the lines of the thread's previous theme.
Sometimes it's just stupid. Although I'm as guilty as any of intellectually jerking off on the boards. But I'll put up with any amount of chaff to get a nice golden kernel every now and then.
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Post by manintheshadows on Mar 25, 2008 17:13:25 GMT -5
]Although I'm as guilty as any of intellectually jerking off on the boards. I suppose with Mother Superior constantly gurning through your window nowadays, any other sort of jerking off must be difficult. Or possibly enhanced in some way ;D
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